i give up.

WWJD?

After coming up with different thoughts, both random and discussed. I think I've finally came up with that one big question of life's goals. Been always questioned with all these big questions which I can't really answer. That's maybe because I have this stereotyped thinking, somehow linking it to career or jobs. Something I wanna touch about in this post.

I think after a fair discussion and exchanging opinions, I can boldly say that I'm not going to be involved in a certain one thing for too long. That's what I want to do. This also depends on my life calling as well. Of course, sacrifices will be made. People may be thinking that I am not a loyal/entrusted person for my constant changes (which some people experience due to their attitude or somehow something might've happened I don't know). But this is entirely different. I have that desire of wanting to try out different things, experiencing different culture and workplaces, learning the big things to petty little technical things.

The world may run with an education system that may say a doctor is more 'useful' than a bus driver/janitor. But being given a question of contribution, I think you can't compare one another by giving a certain rank whatsoever. An engineer contributes more than a technician, says who? A executive more than a bus driver, says who? If you have the opportunity to be an executive, at the same time having that passion of driving a bus, why not do it? There's two parts to it. One that has no choice but to be a bus driver, another one that has different options but chooses not to because it's frowned upon. I'm speaking about the second one. The world's education system somehow restricts some of us to learn/do things we don't want to. I honestly do not mind gaining knowledge, if the course doesn't run by a set of rule. Then again, everything has to have a system, which I totally understand. But wouldn't it be nice if it doesn't. I would love to learn about the Mayans, the Pyramids, the supernaturals, distinct subcultures, the universe, religion, etcetera. But not on a free time or as a hobby.

If it'd be ran in a course, I'd not complain at all. Guess I'll not allow the particular system and people's opinion restrict me from whatever I want to do. Hey, it's still education, I don't think its a waste of time at all. We make decisions that affect us, and some that even affect others. Just have to be wise in whatever decisions we make, and when the sacrifices has to be made, whether its worth while or not.

So far, I guess nothing allows me to. And so, all I'm going to do is switch jobs and enjoy myself as I enjoy living my life. It'd be a good learning process. If given a choice, I would not want to spend 40 years sitting in the same desk. Don't get me wrong, I admire people who can do that, but I can't, that's just not me. I'd go out and experience what God has created. What God has made so beautiful, to the things/places that man chooses to screw up. I'd love to speak to strangers and impact them one way or another. Adrian showed me an article in the papers, and its about two ministers that are pilots, flying their private plane around the world to preach the word of God. How cool is that. I totally don't mind packing up to follow them. I'll entrust whatever I have in mind to Him. Workable or not, I'm sure He'll make a way. He have been anyways. I have my wildest dreams. Now time for me to patch up a couple of things, and start living it.

SmallBikeBigBody.

Just some photos of us flatlanding. Been slacking a lil' bit here and there. Rear brakes's gotta go. I realize I've got less to say these days. We'll see what happens soon. Out.

NavySeal Tank. Idea made reality.

:)

Shawn & I at 7 years of age :-)

Updates

Not so much of an informational post.
Just wanted some time to blabber out my current state.

After such a long hidden inner passion, I finally got hold to start putting it to practice. The ever first time I was exposed to flatlanding, I knew I wanted to give it a try. But the place and time wouldn't allow me to. For one, I haven't come across any bike stores that sells BMX's. Plus, even if I had one, there wouldn't be time.

Not like I have plenty of time to spare here, but I try to set aside time to just enjoy myself. I almost missed out on my flatland passion. Now that I can finally do it, I'll take my time to let it out. If it wasn't for moving to Western Australia, I suppose I wouldn't have the chance to do this. The bikes coming back home with me definitely.

I'm also quite hesitant, about the field that I'm in right now. I'm pretty sure only a couple of you have heard from me and know what's going on. Won't go into much detail, but about life decisions, I'll keep you updated. Still waiting to hear from God.

Directions

For all the things I've chased some time ago, I see how those don't last forever. Not even the interest in it. That's probably why the 'wild at heart' book was written hey? Who wants to settle down to just do one thing in a lifetime? That's unsatisfying. I wanna try as many things and travel to as many places in my lifetime. Again, the 'try as many things' is in my own terms. It is now, that I totally have the urge to stop being so boring being with a bunch who thinks they're all that. Pardon me.

Inspiring. Powerful Testimony.

Finally, finished reading the 'Save Me From Myself' book, authored by Brian 'Head' Welch. Definitely helped reinforce my faith in God. Strongly recommend this one to you.

The best alone time ever.

It's 4.20 in a Saturday morning. Listen, I don't usually write things such as this. I was trying to get a good sleep because I had an early morning plan tomorrow. I think I'm fairly patient, and easy but these two guys really bothered my sleep. Up to a point, I called security. The security is basically someone you call whenever you have things to complaint, and in this case my complains I know, is reasonable. Two of em are drunk, topless and in their jeans. 'Wrestling' each other. Four in the morning, people can actually find time to 'wrestle' each other in the grass topless and have a good laugh about it. Sometimes, I wonder whether they're 'outgoing' or I'm the supposedly 'old-fashioned'. Thats not the point of my post though. Rarely, I blog about my current state of feelings. The fellas kept me so awake now. Windows are open, air is pleasantly cooling. The place is quite, and the lights are dim. A sudden urge to listen to Angels and Airwaves, at this moment. It should give me the feeling I thought I can get. And it did! Such a, I don't wanna say 'wonderful' because so generic, but I can't seem to find the exact words. It's the alone time, that I really treasure now. Where everyone's asleep, and I can ponder on God, life, space and planets. A feeling so great, only I can experience right now. More of a 'wonderland/fantasy' world that is created for peace and love. What a great thing to live on. Of course, it isn't reality, but to ponder on that and live on it for a couple of minutes by myself really gets me thinking. Stirs my imagination and feeling in a way I couldn't describe because it isn't something burdensome. Rather, something that gets you to smile and relax. Just reclining your office chair and lay back, and ponder. I'm contented. The problems are laid aside as I take a seat into the ride of knowledge and wisdom. Knowledge and wisdom that are not the ones being measured in the general human terms, but in God's measure. I'm touched and inspired. I'm a dreamer. A positive one.

"Oh God I feel like I'm in for it now
It's like the rush has gone straight to my brain
But my voice is as lonely as loud
As I whisper the joy of this pain
And suddenly
You've done it all
You've won me over
In no time at all
And now I'll stop the storm if it rains
I'll light a path far from here
I'll make your fear melt away
And the world we know disappear."

I now understand their vision.

The Forgotten Misguided 08'