What changed my life, forever.

You could very possibly guess the things that I went through during my childhood. A very expected, nothing out of the ordinary life. Raised in a typical, Malaysian Chinese family that learns a little about family and respect towards the elders and all that. Once in every while, whenever we visited my grandparents who're Buddhist, I was told to utter and wish blessings upon everyone's health and well being in front of the altar. Part of me doesn't understand quite very much the need of prayer in the first place, and a part of me doesn't even know why God (Buddhists') appears in so many different ways and look like Chinese people. They do, don't they. Not many people taught me this, but I learn to embrace it myself, and I was proud that I knew how to do so. I knew how to respect people's beliefs and traditions, how to greet people and give gifts and all gestures to show love. But what is love, really? I didn't know exactly back then.
I couldn't care less about 'religion' or 'God' or the whole point of existence. Some people might have beliefs or thoughts to a certain level, but I just couldn't care less! Probably because I knew there wasn't going to be any conclusion to any of this life's questions. Theories are just theories, facts can't be trusted because every fact seems distorted today. I too, perceived religion and especially Christians as goody-goodies that just need a hope for them when they're facing problems or whenever they feel like they don't belong to any society/group. I thought.

My family can be considered as one of the most skeptical family ever, for we love to reason things, and answer logically. And when I say 'logical', I mean in a standard that the majority of human beings can accept to be 'logical'. We love to call ourselves God, for we believed so much in whatever that we want for ourselves, we make it happen. (true, to a level)
In March 2005, something to big took place in my life. Something so big, it changed me from the way I look at life, the thoughts I had, the love I embrace and the way I talked. Never in my entire life, would I ever imagine that I would stand still and let someone talk to me and tell me about the love of Jesus. Never!! But God knew the whole person that I am, and did his works that gave me the patience to sit down, let a person talk to me about Christ and eventually receiving Him as my savior. "I'm now a Christian?!", I asked myself. What now?

It took me a couple of weeks, to get hold of the Bible, read it and really know what God and life is all about. The more I read and understand it, the more touched I was. Day by day, slowly filled by God's love. That emptiness that a person has no matter how much he/she indulges in satisfactory things of the world, can never be filled by the absence of knowing God and experiencing Him. It has nothing to do with morale values. There's a big difference in morale values and Christianity. Good value comes along as we embrace Christianity, but having good values like I once used to doesn't count that I know anything about Christianity. If I wanted to learn about being a better person, I'd pick up classes or motivational courses instead. I know I don't always come of writing this seriously, but I want to share this with you and I sincerely hope you would open up your heart to grasp this. I used to not have the will to ask to even wonder about this guys. But I know certain of you do, and if you are, there's nothing to be ashamed of wanting to know more. God is love.

Brian Welch's Speech.

Updates of Brian Welch's latest video and testimony. Praise God Brian's eyes were opened.

Reunion.

Never would I thought in a thousand years, that I'll have the chance to meet up and have a good ol' conversation with my classmates. Kev, PhuiYin and Bryan were generous enough to keep a time for some time out with me. I have to say, its been 4 years, and too many things have changed. Yet I never really regretted anything I'd say, for the person that I am right now. Things have changed for the better, really. Although a slight awkward being around the three people I always been with for those two years now, certain things, just never change. Not only that, seeing the person they are right now, makes me happy for them as well. Proud of you guys man. Thanks for the night guys. Appreciate it.

Tabloid Talk Shows.

Had always been watching loads of tabloid talk shows to fill up my time, since I have problem sleeping in the night. These are some of the top few tabloid talk shows I watch on a daily basis. I'm pretty sure most of the Malaysian society would pay not to watch these tabloid talk shows because of its disasters, distort in relationship and a person's mind, joined in with all the other horrible things you could ever imagine. These are post-Oprah shows where most of the things you hear aren't filtered or even broadcast on television due to its explicit content, but a little truth never hurts every once in a while doesn't it. I don't recommend watching it a hobby though, its kinda depressing. I'm the guy that strongly believes that whatever a person is exposed to, let it be music or media or any simplest thing, he will be influenced by it. So let the positives fill your minds people. Don't be ignorant though.

PHIL DONAHUE

JERRY SPRINGER

JEREMY KYLE

How to be me 101.

1. First, don't get involved with other peoples conflicts, it's not your business. Also, this ensures that you aren't caught up in their emotional turmoil. That's extremely detrimental to maintaining an aloof demeanor. State baldly, if you have to, that you won't get caught up in 'xyz' yada yada. People may be surprised (even angry at times) but they will respect your unwillingness to take sides in a conflict you care nothing about. Lol.
   
2. Be serene, don't let anything faze you, and always be prepared for any event. This tranquility will permeate your mannerisms and translate "cool" to the general public. It signals to others that you have a certain detachment which allows you to weave in and out of life's tangled webs without losing your vital cool.
3. Believe in yourself, but remember that arrogance makes people hate you. A quiet confidence (humble, yet proud of yourself) will endear people to you. Imagine a scale of 0 to 10, 0 being downtrodden and 10 being cocky arrogance. A 5, smack in the middle, is a safe bet, but let out subtle hints of a 7 or 8 to keep people from taking you for granted.
4. Don't show your pain. Screw what everyone heard or what rumors are going around or what people saw with their own eyes. If you want to be aloof, you must handle pain with as much dignity and grace as possible. Fall to pieces in the privacy of your own home or an empty restroom if you want or must, but keep it together in public. You must! Well, at least that's how I do it.
   
5. Smile mysteriously as if you have a secret nobody knows. Could be just for fun's sake. Gets people all the time. But don't do it for the attention, cuz it's annoying as hell.
   
6. Don't talk a lot. Less is more. Answer questions that people ask and don't speak at EVERY opportunity or lull in the conversation. Let a nod or some other body language convey your answers. When you do speak in greater detail, you'll find that people are more apt to listen than if you were to go shooting your mouth off like there's no tomorrow.
7. Be uncompromising in your style, speech, culture, whatever. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Treat others as equals, but take on just a slightly condescending edge if they grow disrespectful. That's necessary.
   
8. Most importantly- Believe you are mysterious, aloof, and enigmatic. You can act more openly around people you trust, but don't let everyone see that side of you.
   

Always be who you truly are. This ensures that your aloofness is as native to your character as possible and doesn't come off as forced or contrived. Don't ignore people you don't like. Treat them coldly, answer their questions politely, but let them know subtly that you don't like them without stooping to rudeness. Never be petty. This can bring you from "aloof" to "jerk" in a heartbeat. I sometimes cross the border between that easily though.
Sums most of my thoughts and characteristics.

I didn't know that my personality could actually be labelled (Not necessarily a good thing, but surprising), and I finally found it. It's good being told what kind of person you are sometimes. Slaps in you in the face regardless of the good or bad things you've contributed. Then again, people can change, through the powerful option. CHOICE. So, don't be all beaten up if you think you're an ass.

Good day guys.

Brain Vomit.

Frankly, I find people very, very interesting. Those who aren't so bright (not speaking from an educational point of view by the way), who doesn't have a firm opinion about something, or even anything at all! This can be quite generic, but most of the time, turns out to be the nicer one. One that goes, "Hey! He drinks, and drives, never gotten in an accident before. Bloody cool he's like the shit!", or even "You know, I know this girl, who has like the hottest friends!" Okay maybe this isn't quite getting to you as my examples could be too generic again. These are the ones, that most seemingly to be the most easily brought and influence to thinking or even committing in things they probably regret in 5 years. You tell them about serious stuff, and they just stare blankly into your face, uttering the words you never thought came out of their mouths. Seriously people, get real and don't watch too much television.

Then there are the 'brighter' ones who often, has the 'best' answers and own opinion on yada yada. The one that everyone looks up to because of their 'guru' or 'mastery' title. High probability could be the main players of their industry and achieving a fair amount of success. Usually, expresses themselves the most. Couldn't shut the f*ck up for a second to stop listening to what others have say. (That could be the reason to their success! Try that some time, children.) Yesyes, having your opinion and believing it is a good thing. A very good thing, to be honest. But doesn't anyone has that little voice in you that says, you COULD be wrong about it? For instance, thinking that the little dude at the side of the class is like the most vulnerable guy ever existed. Or thinking, "oh well I'm all good now, no need for room of improvement in managing my family." I mean, come on fellas. That much of an ego can actually breathe in your small, weak and horrible body of yours? Tone it down a second won't you?

And finally, the ones I favor the most, usually the ones that you see me hanging around with. You know why? They seem to have a fair balance of absorbing what they're being told. Having to practise that sense of filtering what's wrong and right for them. Knowing that it 'could be' or 'could also not be' attitude. A fair amount of joke, laughter and nuisance, so is a fair amount of seriousness in their thoughts and decision making. Fair amount of care and love and appreciation. No it's not gay to care for one another, but let's not exaggerate people if you don't mean it that much. Thank God, for these minds. If the world's only filled with the two categories of people's minds I've mentioned above, there will be no longer a person that is worth sharing a conversation anymore.

I have learned that almost all of us puts on a facade/mask whenever they revolve around different people. I've learned to not hold grudges or to be fake with one another. Not to hold back a smile whenever I wanted to. Often times, people's mask thicken as they go through a certain phase in their lives which are unfortunately tough and saddens them. Therefore, resulting in such behavior. I then moved on, to grabbing I thought was best for me, saying what I thought was the smartest words. Well, see I thought I knew it all after going through a phase where people taught you 'how' to be a person. As it turns out, I beat myself to death by 'flaunting' my knowledge and experiences, and lost my inner soul. Yup, and thank God for people who were there to remind me who I am. In the end, we do, we do have to let go of the things and feelings that holds us down from achieving anything good for our sake, but ALSO remembering to keep certain values to ourselves and not throwing it away. Sometimes, we just forget the good sides of us, changing and becoming that nasty and cold person that everyone looks up to yet hates. Nobody has to ever take it to that extend. Everything is just a fair amount of balance.

Who and what are you?

ps: I have recently found out that SP has lost his six year old daughter from cancer last monday. Had been suffering from it for at least six months already. My deepest, deepest condolences to him and his family. It must've been so hard he couldn't come in the office.

The Best Selling Autobiography.

I found out about this book, but didn't really plan look for it up till now. If anyone would do me a big favor, it'd be to just inform me if you happen to run into this copy because I didn't stand a chance looking in Malaysia's bookstores. None. So, remember, I'm a call away. Thanks.

Series of Photographs

As I look back and reminisce,
these pictures bring back a thousand pleasant memories.

We all agree, that some specific things we experiences, stays tight to our minds, and others are no where near understanding it. Eventually, we figure that the choice
is always ours for us to make and so, make them good as when you recall it, it just seems so worth the while.

Cyber Sampler's

Back again. About her new Cyber Sampler, these are some of the photographs. Not the clearest, but then of course, it's always something fun to do and see. The films are Fuji 400.

I miss her already.

Visit Indonesia 08'.

20th Dec 07 - 6th Jan 08

How do I start. So yes, I've just reached back in KL last night and caught up with my family and friends again. Philip and I departed together and flew back together. Of course, he was there to see Eliz and her family. So we stayed separately but met up twice in Senayan City and Borobudur. There's just too much to say about a two and a half weeks trip. Took me hours just editing and uploading these photos. Basically, traffic is a mess, and the drivers there, are awesome! I mean, everyone's reckless yet such a low accident rate. Stayed in Serpong, where Pam and her family was such a hospitable family and treated me so well. I didn't really went to a lot of places, but at least I've tried all sorts of food there. Now for my own good, I'm gonna note this down.

Malls I've been to:
Sumarecon Mal Serpong (SMS)
Senayan City
Pondok Indah Mall
Mal Taman Angrek
Supermal Lippo Karawaci
BSD Junction/ ITC

Food I've tried:
Soto Mie
Mie Bakso
Nasi Goreng Mbak Ati
Lontong (CapGohMei Style)
Ayan Suharti
Nasi Liwet
Soto Betawi
Soto Madura
Sop Iga Sapi
Soto Ayam
Sop Buntut
Mie Ayam
Bakmi GM
Sop Merah
Empek-empek
Hokka-hokka Bento
Nasi Padang
Nasi Uduk
Nasi Campur Alu (Pontianak)
Q-Biq (Doughnut)
Tauhu Sumedang
Bumbu Desa (Sundanese)
Pecel Lele
Otak-otak
Buah Alpukat
Pisang Goreng (Indonesian Style)

We went to Jogja, to see Borobudur. The roadtrip was a long 10 hour drive there, and we only stop once to stay for a night. We passed by these towns.

Cirebon
Sumedang
Tegal
Semarang
Sala Tiga
Babat
Indramayu
Sleman Kampung (Stopped by)
Padalarang
Pamanukan
Kopeng

Once we're there, I took a good look and feel of Candi Borobudur, that used to be one of the 7 wonders of the world. The details of the landmark and the level of IQ of the people who built it during that century, unbelievable! Then, we ate dinner in Jogja, because it was flooding so badly we had to delay our journey back. We then head back on the same day and Pam's dad drove a crazy 39 hour drive, which he stopped by at some gas stations to sleep for 15 minutes of so. What a strong driver! Also, we went to Puncak and stayed a night there, celebrated Christmas as well, I had so much fun!

In SMS, where I posted the previous post.


Playing Putt-Putt near her house.
Didn't know it was as exciting!

Such a cute game. I like!


D'Cost, right beside OceanPark.

Pondok Indah Mal, trying on the famous Bakmi GM.

The 10 hour drive to Jogja.

We caught up with Philip, Eliz and her family.
We both reached on the same day in Jogja, coincidentally.


There, Candi Borobudur.





This is somewhere near the house of Manusia Akar,
you can check that out on Youtube.


In Puncak for Christmas.
Where one of Pam's uncle has this humongous house.


Om Agus.


Tante Elia. Opening presents session,
where I enjoyed the most!


The restaurant we stopped by in Puncak.

I love the Sop Buntut!
Which is the Ox's Tail soup delicacy.


Her house in Alam Sutera, Serpong.


Bandung. The cheapest and best shopping option
for both tourist and the locals.

Christmas in Puncak. Family photo, and a stranger.


A family that has taught me alot
about the term 'family' and 'letting go'.
Thanks for EVERY SINGLE THING!